The dreaming machine

You see zigzag through me

I don’t hate it better.

I’m thinking of you.

But not so fondly.

When we meet at R4, we shall reunite permanently.

Until then, the moon will be in retrograde.

P.S. Music has been missing in my life.

What a tragedy.

Now is the time to be inspired.

I know you’re not ready for this.

You’ll never be.

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127

I don’t feel good about this. At all.

I know its the “right” thing to do.

I deserve this.

And so does he.

I hope I won’t regret this for life.

I hope everything will fall into place.

We deserve happiness. Especially him.

I’ll always be your’s.

Your ming a ling.

Reaching there

Us fighting constantly.

Everyday, it scares me.

It’s confusing and I change my mind a thousand million times.

How I did not know the dynamic changed so long ago astounds me.

Before it happened.

Before she happened.

Now only bitterness charges up my heart.

This path only leads to the putrid side of love.

I am afraid.

It can only go uphill.

Give it up to me

I didn’t give a reason.

I don’t want an apology.

I don’t need facades to make me happy.

Pray tell me, how am I suppose to feel as your lover.

As your friend.

As a human.

Please shut me out.

For your sake.

Lost in transformation

I’ve said it.

There was no reply.

No reaction to my confession.

Nothing feels worse than rejection.

I had a vision of you repulsing at my touch.

I didn’t understand you.

I didn’t respect you enough.

I’m intolerable material.

Why are you still here?

Why?