I think we, Christians, have the highest probability of disappointing people because naturally, people expect more out of us since we are suppose to be good, kind, giving, patient, etc. Basically, Christ-like.

(Keynote: Christ-like. Like Christ.)

If a Buddhist gets agitated easily, it’s nothing because he/she probably had a bad day.

If a Muslim is not fasting, how could you judge a hungry person.

If a Atheist is being rude, that’s normal because all Atheist are cynical.

And you can’t even condemn a Hindu, because anything they do wrong is a norm and is taken as a cultural lesson.

So here we are, judging Christians, our own kind – per se.

We can tell people what makes us different is having Jesus in our hearts but our actions could say likewise.

And then, we’re looked upon badly.

But WE all forget that we are ALL sinners.

All of us!

Just that, we are saved by grace.

So what does that really mean?

Do we understand the depth of that meaning?

Do we hold it in our hearts forever?

It is something that sounds so simple

but it is impossible to comprehend what God has really done for us.

We could never step into his sandals.

And you know what?

Sometimes, I wish that was possible for some missionaries so that they will stop boasting about the number of contractable diseases they’ve attained when really it’s nothing compared to what God has done for us.


She knew that she was lucky to have him.

But what she didn’t know

was that he could be stolen.



I was so mad.

I am still very upset.

It doesn’t feel good at all to be treated differently.

And by ‘differently’, I mean unfairly.

I waited for 2 hrs for the minibus to arrive at the junction to head back to Sanggau.

While waiting, a billion thoughts went through my head.

This is not the first time I felt that I was treated unfairly.

“Unfairly, how?” You ask.

Well, here’s one out of many scenarios. (A real one, btw. Not some made-up fictitious story)

A week ago, J&Y went to Kuching because J has fallen sick due to some yellow fever and thrombosis so they thought that they should get some better medication and restock their supplies.

RY, the French guy who stayed here for about a month and practically did nothing but sit on the grass and write in his notebook, followed them back to Kuching.

Yesterday, I had to go to Kuching to renew my visa so J asked RO to follow me to Simpang Tanjung by taking the minibus.

That was fine by me.

We waited for 3 hours for the bus to arrive at Simpang Tanjung to go to Kuching.

I was not upset at J&Y.

I was just a little irritated due to the lack of punctuality but at least,  I was on the bus. I was grateful for that.

However, today. TODAY!

I waited with S for two hours for the minibus to arrive at Simpang Tanjung so that we could arrive in Sanggau.

By the time, we arrived in the boarding home, it was 7.10pm (GMT +7.00).

I left Kuching at 1.00pm (GMT +8.00)

Do the calculation.

I travelled for 7 hours.

In addition, it was not easy walking in the dark without a torchlight and lamp posts to guide the uneven and slippery paths.

Am I being unreasonable for being upset at J&Y, who would go the extra mile for their white associates,

whereas, the Chinese me had to use public transport to “experience” the life of a missionary?

I realized that if I did not arrive a month ago with RY, I would probably have gone through the same ordain.

This “aha” moment just made me so angry.

Do I deserve such treatment because I am Yellow. Not White.

Yes, you need your rest.

But what happened to that reason when you drove all the way to Kuching, which takes 4 hours?

And back to Sanggau again.

Plus, wouldn’t you have driven around Kuching to get your supplies?

Wouldn’t that have taken up some of your energy?

Driving to Simpang Tanjung would only take 45 minutes.

And you couldn’t do that for a Chinese girl.

Well, I hope that you wouldn’t treat other Asians like that

because I really wouldn’t want them to feel the way I do right now

when they see how you treat Caucasians better.