I don’t know what I want.
It’s just that she gets mentioned
and I can’t help but compare which holidays or birthdays were more enjoyable.
I get so bitter about it that I wish the whole nation would go to hell.
I just want to get rid of all this negativity and the idea of her.
Wishful thinking is meaningless.
In the end, all I know is that I love you.
I don’t feel good about this. At all.
I know its the “right” thing to do.
I deserve this.
And so does he.
I hope I won’t regret this for life.
I hope everything will fall into place.
We deserve happiness. Especially him.
I’ll always be your’s.
Your ming a ling.
What do you do
When you’re no longer content?
When you thought after all this, everything will be fine and it’s not?
When you’ve changed?
When your friends have changed?
When it’s normal to cry at least three times a week?
What do you do?
Us fighting constantly.
Everyday, it scares me.
It’s confusing and I change my mind a thousand million times.
How I did not know the dynamic changed so long ago astounds me.
Before it happened.
Before she happened.
Now only bitterness charges up my heart.
This path only leads to the putrid side of love.
I am afraid.
It can only go uphill.
He sniffed her up. Gently.
She didn’t dare to move.
It was as if she had no choice.
Close to the yellow putrid liquid.
He cherished in every daylight.
Caught up in his words.
She never met his actions.
We shan’t look at the picture.
We shan’t analyse.
She chewed her lips.
I wonder when my love will fade and I wonder when my heart will grow cold.
I fucking knew it.
Why did you have to prove me right?
Where do these instincts lead me to?
I enter the gray weather.
You had to mess with my saliva.
No wonder, it was a fluke.
No more questions.
No more pleads.
No more riding over me.