I like the way John Mayer looks when he’s playing live.

It’s like he’s having a retardedly cute orgasm.

Well, that’s what I think an orgasm will look like.

Honestly, I really don’t know.

I’m that innocent.

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Something’s Missing

“I like to affectionately call it the ‘Pee Break Song’. I hope you stay though.
You ever have that thought that bums you out?
If that thought bums you out and you’re bummed out by the thought
but the thought escapes you so all you’re left is being bummed out.
But you can’t remember what it is that bummed you out in the first place.
So you spend time going back in your mind trying to figure out why you’re not looking forward to Tuesday.
Whatever Tuesday is? What’s wrong with Tuesday?
Hasn’t even happened yet and I’m already freaked out about it.
So anyway, this is a song called ‘Something’s Missing’ cuz sometimes it just is.”
– John Mayer at Any Given Thursday

I get him.

Q:What’s the weirdest thought that’s gone through your head while playing a concert?

A: One night I was singing on stage when my mind began to wander and I started to imagine the microphone being made out bees. Now, I knew that wasn’t going to happen, but at the time the part of my brain that determines that it’s impossible for a vocal mic to turn into bees was busy with the whole singing thing, so the emotional center of my brain was left to consider how much it would suck to have bees climbing all over my face and up into my sinuses. This probably gave me somewhat of an upset stomach and probably a little gas but I don’t remember exactly.  Oh, and another time I started to pretend that the audience’s cheering was actually screams of pain. That was super weird. Also, sometimes I pretend the red light on the front of house video camera is a laser scope and I’m about to be sniped because I know too much. Other than that I’m just thinking about playing music and having staring contests with bored looking boyfriends.   – John Mayer