30 12 2008

I don’t know what I want.

How immature.

It’s just that she gets mentioned

and I can’t help but compare which holidays or birthdays were more enjoyable.

How immature.

I get so bitter about it that I wish the whole nation would go to hell.

How immature.

I just want to get rid of all this negativity and the idea of her.

Wishful thinking is meaningless.

In the end, all I know is that I love you.





127

18 10 2008

I don’t feel good about this. At all.

I know its the “right” thing to do.

I deserve this.

And so does he.

I hope I won’t regret this for life.

I hope everything will fall into place.

We deserve happiness. Especially him.

I’ll always be your’s.

Your ming a ling.





Hold onto you

19 06 2008

What do you do

When you’re no longer content?

When you thought after all this, everything will be fine and it’s not?

When you’ve changed?

When your friends have changed?

When it’s normal to cry at least three times a week?

What do you do?





Smoking halogen

2 03 2008

I wonder when my love will fade and I wonder when my heart will grow cold.





When there isn’t a dictionary

28 01 2008

The transfer wasn’t enjoyable.

I didn’t ask myself because I was afraid of the answer.

I wished the morning to arrive soon.

It’s dry.

I’m not eased.

Mew is not helping.

You’re not present.

Let it go.

It was the final last straw.

The lightbulb has burst.





Living in a dream

28 01 2008

I realized how naive I was.

Why did I not think it was a problem.

Anything could happen.

I’ve learnt that the hard way.

I’m not happier.

Without you.

I hate these ninety fifth thoughts.

Someone. Please stop me.

Please stop my careless actions.

I need you too.